Turning 21 seems to be the biggest deal of someone's life. I couldn't be more excited than this. "This" refers to the feeling of literally achieving "freedom" and the chance of making decisions on your own. Well, I am still living with my parents, that doesn't make that much of a difference. The truth is, I am upset to face the reality. I am officially 21, old enough to not achieve anything spectacular. 2013 would obviously make me 22 (based on the year I was born in) and my glorious 21 lasts for about a month. It's a small deal but somehow I feel like shit yo! Is it because I'm growing old and yet, I haven't decided what I'm gonna do with my life OR I'm just too afraid to know what's gonna happen to me in the future. Overthinking is my favorite thing to do.
Well, I know we are supposed to make the best of the present but I don't think it is wrong to worry about the future ahead of us. I know a quote, "If you're depressed, then you're living in the past. If you're happy, you're living in the present. If you're anxious, you're living in the future" Do you agree? I would have to agree with it, because it's simply the truth. If life gives you shit, then you gotta make use of it, the best possible way! I am happy with who I am now. But not that excited about what I'll possibly be in 20 years or 30. Or even 5 years. But the future is not here yet, so why am I getting myself effed up? I am sorry, but this is how I motivate myself. Work hard and soon, all good things will be yours. I demand for a new Zen book for my birthday, anyone? Please?
How I spent my 21st birthday was not bad at all. I had dinner with my close friends and also had a birthday shout out from everyone, more to a surprise. Not gonna tell you the whole story, to make it short, I had fun! Thank you all for caring. Birthday presents are not that important, I can indulge myself with presents anytime I want! What matters the most is the effort. Without effort, nothing would work or could have worked.
Whatever it is, being 21 is actually a new chapter for me. A new starting point. I want to do something good for myself, I want to always be happy and also make others happy. You know you can't always live up to everyone's expectations but you can always live up to your own expectations. Do whatever that you're good at, make the best of it (stealing, killing etc doesn't count). If you don't know what are your capabalities, start imagining what would your life be like in 20 years. It should motivate you. Look at your surroundings, do you wanna be like them? Yes or no, you gotta work for it. Lead your life.
