P/S How I wish I could turn back the time and restart all over again
I want to apologize. I've been bad, I've been acting so bad, or whatever you wanna call it, I just want to say sorry. I've been thinking about how I misbehaved these few days, during our friendship and I came to a point where I think everyone around me is annoyed with my existence, my dirty talk and stuff, you get it. I just want to start everything from scratch. It is quite hard to ditch the bad habits but I will try my best. I am no good. I bitch a lot.
But people just dont know what I feel inside.
If bitching about me makes you feel better, then go ahead. If you think that I am not worth your attention, then ignore me. If you think that I am a slut, hate me, tell your friends. Think or say whatever you want, but I am just gonna be me.
Aku tak perasan cantik. I just walk with confidence so that my enemies wont see me sweat. So that my admirers will adore me so that those bitches pee in their pants. Say whatever you want, you don't know what I feel inside. Inside, my heart beats a thousand times faster. Inside, my lung is screaming out loud. Inside, I just want things to end quickly nor end things quickly. You don't know exactly what I feel because you only see what I choose to show you. And if you dare say things about me because I, Mawar Amin do not talk about you unless you mess with me. Please, if I rarely talk to you, that doesn't mean I am badmouthing you. Okay? I have other stuffs to talk about. Call me uncool or whatever, I don't give a damn. This is my way to keep my friends. But think, hows your way to keep yours?
Please, I am not even an inch worried about your existence. Sorry.
This is an essay, a confession. If you've come to this point, I just want you to know that I've been through a lot. And I know you did too. I've learned from my mistakes and don't you ever think that you're better than me because we are both the same.
I am so sorry for doing an entry like this. Goodbye.
