I Skipped A Heart Beat.

LDR - Never Let Me Go

One day, you will realize that you are responsible for your actions. One day, you will realize that your children will do exactly what you did, instead of listening to your advice. Like they said, actions speak louder than words. I don't want to talk about the disappointments in my life because I have had too much of break downs and the best way to revenge is to be happy.

At this point of my life, things will not get any better nor worse. I'm in between. Life has been static, all things move in parallel lines, no curves. But I noticed one thing, I am lacking of love. To be able to love someone, I think is the greatest feeling that someone can possibly feel. The feeling of having butterflies flying around and playing in your stomach is just miraculous. And to be loved back is just something that I cannot wait to endure. 

I have been waiting for the perfect time to fall in love but the truth is, you can't find love. It happened so spontaneously without you realizing it. The next thing you noticed is that when you wake up, there's only one person that you could think of. That's the most fantastic thing about it and I hope it lasts.

I Want To Love Again.

 John Mayer - Edge of Desire.

 

A night never to be trusted for emotions. So, a lot of you guys are gonna head home and either receive texts in the dead of night or actually compose them that are not going to be fully representative of how you feel for the rest of the day, for the rest of your week. Then you’ll be reaching out, and if you’re not reaching out you’ll have someone else reaching out to you. And your friends, and your brain, and your morals, and your conscience have all trained you not to respond. 

But I’m gonna go against the grain and I’m going to suggest that the next time you get a text from the one you love, the only person in the world that you love and can’t talk to, that you respond. And you just write back when they ask you if you’re up, and you’re up, just write back, “Yup, come on over.” Cause life is just too short to keep playing the game. Cause if you really want somebody, you’ll figure it out later. Otherwise, you’ll be laying in bed with a Blackberry on your chest staring at it, doing nothing for the rest of the night, hoping that it goes, “PRRR, PRRR, PRRR.”

Karma

Ocean and Roses.

I had a serious problem in making myself feel better, there is always something not right. Patches. I feel demotivated at times and the feeling of being not good enough is a horrid feeling. Discouraged.

I did a lot of readings, especially non-fictions and one of 'em was the Steve Jobs Bio. I never finished reading the book because it was way too boring as it tells you almost every aspect of Jobs life. Trust me, I really couldn't care less about him but at one point, I realized that this book was actually a good read. However, I needed something that could open my eyes and probably set a new perspective towards life. 

My mentor in school suggested a book called Happy Science. It is not really about Science, putting chemicals or so but as you can see, it is kind of like a formula to being happy, spiritually speaking - if you get what I mean. I don't know how to explain. So I read this book about Zen Buddhism, just for the knowledge purpose. And I find it very motivational. I am surprised how writing can simply change someone's perspective towards something or even influence/persuade them.

This book can really help people all over the world awaken to their true nature within and be able to sincerely say "I am Happy" by studying and practicing the teachings of love and enlightenment. Love and enlightenment. What else do we need? 

Well, life is basically about doing good deeds to people. You have to have faith in yourself. Do you actually notice that if you're happy, then the people around you will also be happy? To make others feel better, you gotta feel good about yourself. Be nice to people. And you'll feel the difference.

Simple.

Wednesday, the 7th. Why Is It So Hard To Move On?

A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover

Your fingertips across my skin. The palm trees swaying in the wind. Images. You sang me Spanish lullabies. The sweetest sadness in your eyes. Clever trick. Well, I never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me.  

Goodbye, my almost lover. Goodbye, my hopeless dream. I'm trying not to think about you. Can't you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance. My back is turned on you. Should've known you'd bring me heartache. Almost lovers always do.

We walked along a crowded street. You took my hand and danced with me. Images. And when you left, you kissed my lips. You told me you would never, never forget. These images. Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me.

I cannot go to the ocean. I cannot drive the streets at night. I cannot wake up in the morning. Without you on my mind. So you're gone and I'm haunted. And I bet you are just fine. Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

Sunday, the 4th. I am not happy.

 This is crazy. If you have my number, call me maybe?

There is something missing in my life. I feel empty inside. This is exactly why I'm here. If it wasn't for something missing, I wouldn't be here writing and complaining. I think I listened too much of Lana Del Rey. I can tell you Lizzy herself is sweet and guileless, a lovely person. And I love it when she's always a little bit awkward. I've been ear-fucked by her music. Beautiful lyrics and tunes.

Oh God, somebody save me. I need a vacation. And some trance music. Not to forget - good company.

Saturday, The 3rd. What Are You Gonna Do Today?

Lana Del Rey vs Marina & The Diamonds

Bubblegum Bitch/National Anthem (MASH-UP) 

My interview with Zalora last week didn't go well. I wasn't prepared, I came in with a useless-piece-of-crap resume and hoping things would go well. Silly me. Maye I should just stick with my profession in the teaching field. I didn't expect to be applying for the "Content Writer" position. So, the very first question that was asked was "Tell me about yourself".

This is why I love job interviews. It's like a time for me to actually reminisce on what I can do. Seriously, I like challenges and I'm totally up for any. I've never work with a retail venture actually, and this is like a stepping stone for me but you know I'm still in the learning process myself and I believe I am a very focused person as well as a fast learner. I can just work my ass off and I get along with my team mates very well. And of course, I was a teacher before, I communicate well.

The word fashion is too subjective, I mean, when you hear the word fashion, you'll automatically think of the trends and stuff but actually fashion has a lot of different definitions, it varies among individuals. If you like to wear suits, then wear suits, if you like to wear neon pink crocs with a yellow pants and a green shirt, then wear it. To you, it's fashion but to others, they might think it's a no no, time to call the fashion police. Everyone has their own personal style, it reflects their personality and if you're judging mine right now I'd tell you that I'm a very simple person, a minimalist and I do think that shoes bring an impact to your outfit. 

And that people judge you by looking at your shoes. Yes? No?

 

Friday, The 2nd. Are You Happy With What You Have Become?

I haven't been active on Tumblr for the past few months because of some personal reasons. It sounded pretty weird but yes, I have issues with Tumblr. I created a new account and you can follow me by clicking the picture above, it'll direct you straight.  It's nothing fancy as you can see, pretty much simple, just the way I like it.

I was on Facebook a while ago, and I was thinking about sharing some thoughts, in which I am not so sure about it. I'm trying not to be shallow but most of us, suddenly want to admit that they're a right-brainer. You know what I mean. Obviously it's good, but somehow it annoys me in a certain way. Fucking hipsters. Not so sure whether I'm jealous or what but I doubt so. In which category would you group yourself? There are 16 types of personality, the least. Are you The Idealist or The Thinker? Or maybe you're the Scientist? I think I had some sort of a mixed personality, I don't know. I'm still in the learning process myself, and there are a lot of things yet to be discovered. I'm unsure of myself.

Here's a quote. Sometimes you need to go outside and remind yourself of who you are and what you want to be. Just take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Open your eyes and look up to the sky, feel the breeze and just for one moment, think. 

Are you happy with what you are now?

How About A Different Genre?

The Young Professionals - Video Games LDR / Cover

I miss school. I mean, not high school. I miss teaching, shocking but true. I miss all those bloody little rascals. I miss waking up early at 6 in the morning, taking cold showers and having my students walking with me to school. What an experience, a pleasant one.

 Being a teacher nor to teach was never my ambition.

But eventually, the feeling slowly evolves. And the fact that teaching is not boring at all, completely changes my perception towards the profession. No one believed I was a teacher before, I never imagined to be one but yeah, what's wrong with it? After all, TESL is far away from "boring". Trust me. I am so lucky that this course took me up to another level of my life.

Uh Huh: Actually, I've always had a rather extensive vocabulary, not to mention a phenomenal grasp of grammar and a superlative command of syntax. I simply chose not to employ them.

The Little Rascals, 1994

People Change

There's nothing much left to say. I've neglected this blog for almost a year. I was too busy facing the reality, pardon me. I am happy with what I've become. I went through a lot of dramas and ups and downs. I dated a few jerks. I even got friend-zoned. I met a few people, I could not be happier than this. I have changed a lot and many thanks to those who came and be a part of my life, even for just a few secs. I will never forget you because you were there when I needed you.

Life is just about karma.

And change is bound to happen. It's inevitable. No one wants to be reminded that they have changed. As you grow older, you change your appearance, your attitude etc. It's just a process of growing up, the normal cycle of life. There's nothing ordinary about it. Nothing stays the same. So yeah, give me a break. Stop telling me I've changed because I know you did too. What's the motive putting yourself in depression? I mean, change is good, not everything you pictured is ugly. Right? Try imagining what it's like to be in someone else's shoes.

So before you judge me, I just want you to know that, I do realize that I've changed. And I'm happy for myself. And you should too because I change for the betterment of my life. Pity you much because you're alone there worrying about others.

Monday Blues

Flowers. Peace. Calm. 

Oh my God, today is probably the most tiring day ever. I am exhausted. I don't know what I've been doing but the energy is just below the bar. Gonna be busy this week, full classes from morning till evening, hoping everything turns out well. Final exam starts on the 2nd of April and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna study at the very last minute. As usual. And.

I miss you. I really do.

Come And Take A Walk On The Wild Side ♥

You and I, we were born to die

Everyone deserves a happy ending. Yes, it is true. I am happy at the moment and grateful for everything that I have. Basically, I am enjoying and appreciating every bits of my life. Haha, the day before I was being emotional and now I am completely in a different mood. Weird much. Spent time with my closed ones and started to realize that actually my life is not bad at all. Thank you everyone, you know who you are. 

By the way, give Hariz some luck, he'll be sitting for Economics paper tomorrow!

For Love or Money

The new IT thing in Unisel, a fun fair. Haha.

I really really need a time off. I barely have time for myself now. I don't have any idea about what to do with this life anymore, not that I am quitting or giving up but I just feel that every single thing that I do, turns out bad. Or I am just bored. I probably think too much and put myself in a bad mood. I love that quote so much cause it reflects most of us. But whatever it is, I feel so much better now. Maybe I should just chill. I tend to over-analysed a lot. Overthink. Ugh. Relax. 

By the way, so much things happened for the past few weeks. I was too busy with college - presentations, assignments, microteachings, intensive course and so on. I'll be off for practicums in June and the truth is, I am not ready to be a teacher yet. No one does. Haha.